Story of a Child in 2 parts

Meaning of a Child’s Death - Part I

This is a story that is very difficult for me to write, but it is worth sharing. The events have shown me God’s love and his willingness to get his message to us, even if it takes years.

I have always been afraid of dying alone. I am the eldest of 5 girls, and have very seldom been alone. As an adult, being alone is part of living, but I was always uncomfortable with that situation. There always had to be someone with me. Why? I was afraid of dying alone. Several nightmares confirmed this fear and as the years went by, it became stronger. My favorite aunt, who lived in California, died while grocery shopping. Then my favorite uncle, who lived in Massachusetts, also died alone while at a Car Dealership. These 2 deaths only added ‘fuel to the fire’. The idea of facing life alone was too great, and I established relationships just to be NOT alone.

Then one day my sister became pregnant for her third child. The family was happy and the pregnancy was uneventful. Everything was normal, or so we thought. The child was born with multiple deformities. The top of her skull was missing; she had an extra finger, heart deformities, and other birth defects. The doctors were amazed that the child had not been aborted in the first trimester, or that there were no warning signs or symptoms during the pregnancy. They were also amazed that the child was delivered at full term. Just to have the child living and breathing astounded them.

The first time I met this frail infant, I felt a bond with her. She had a presence that connected the two of us. While I carried her in my arms, she became part of my body. She and I had formed a bond that no one could explain or understand. Her life was meant to be short, and she died at the age of 25 days.

But my witness to God’s love was in her death. Please understand that I do not believe in coincidence. I was at the hospital when she died. She was having trouble breathing and a flow of oxygen over her nostrils was her only comfort. Mother and Father were upset of course, but they watched for any discomfort and quickly sought to solve it.

After a brief period of time, I felt that I had to make the room ready. Something was coming and I needed room for them. I pushed all the unnecessary furniture in the corner of the room. I felt compelled to make the room ready. Soon everyone, with the exception of the parents, was standing up against the wall. All felt the need to get as far from the child as possible, without leaving the room. We were the witnesses. Soon Beings in glowing white robes stated to arrive. There were so many of them that I could feel the pressure of being pushed into the wall. (Like a crowded concert and not enough seats.)

Then two of the white Beings started to form some type of a physical body. I felt that one of the beings was female, perhaps the child’s grandmother. She had been the mother of my now grieving brother-in-law. She had died when her son had been an infant himself. The other was an older male, my grandfather and great-grandfather to this child. The emotion of Love was so great; I thought it would crush me. If love could become be described as fog, this was an intense and crippling fog. Then the grandmother bent forward to receive the child. This was the moment when the life force of the child ceased to be. She lifted the child into the air, and in that movement, the child grew into 3-year-old child. As she was placed on her feet, with one hand with the grandmother and one hand with the great-grandfather, she turned to face my grieving parents and uttered “Mommy, why are you crying? I’m with Grandma.” With that the 3 figures drifted away and shortly after that, the other beings left also, but leaving behind an aura of love.

This should be the end of the story and I thought it was for years, but that was not to be. Five years later, I purchased for my sister a figurine of an angel in blue holding a baby. I immediately thought of that young niece of so long ago. As I was driving home with the purchase, a story kept repeating over and over in my head. It was the story of the child’s death, but through her eyes. I was so driven, that upon immediately reaching my home, I taped recorded the story. Writing the story would take too long and I was so driven.

In addition, during this same this time I had started mediation classes for the purpose of understanding God’s will and to get to know my Guardian Angel. Three days after the purchase of the figurines, I attended a mediation class. The focus of the mediation was to meet your Guardian Angel. During the mediation, I saw my grandfather standing in front of a wall of Sweet Peas. These flowers I had always associated with him. Then, stepping out behind him was my Guardian Angel. Then I knew who the Guardian Angel was. Information flooded into my mind with such a fury, that I was overpowered. I broke my mediation and ran out with tears of joy and shaking from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet.

My guardian angel had become one with the child. That was the reason for the child reaching full term. The child was given life in order to give life and hope to me and to others that would care to listen to the story. I was meant to be in her presents when she died. My witness to the
transformation to the spiritual world was to teach me that no one ever dies alone. Even when there is no family in attendance, there are still those who love them standing next to them. They were the family members who had already transcended life, and with their love, would assist others to reach the light of God’s love.

Now I am no longer afraid to be alone, because now I understand that I am never alone. I now believe that God’s messengers are always with me. My faith in the existence of God will always be there to give and share their love and support when ever it is required and accepted.



Janelle's Story - Part II

There once was a little girl. She was so little. She couldn't walk, she couldn't talk, and she couldn't see very well. She had a feeling that there was a great adventure waiting for her. She wanted to see the trees and the flowers. She wanted to see her Mom and Dad a little clearer, but somehow it all didn't seem to matter. She had a great brightness, and a great spirit about her. She could sense everything. She knew her mother's loving touch; her daddy loves kisses, even her big brothers' protectiveness to keep her safe. When she was hungry she got fed. She wasn't sure just how, but she was satisfied. She felt loved all the time. So much love but yet it was not quite enough. There was something missing.

She knew there was a great adventure that she was going to be going on, but she didn't know when. She kept thinking soon...soon. Her mommy had many sisters. She never got to meet them all, but there was one aunt she liked. When her aunt held her, she felt safe and comfortable. Almost like Mommy but not quite. The aunt wore a big hat that would shade her from the bright sun, but she could still feel the wonderful warmth on her face. She wanted to laugh and run and play but she couldn't because she wasn't big enough. Then she noted she had other drawbacks. Her little body just didn't want to do certain things. Once in a while she found pain or she had trouble getting the air in to breathe. Mommy and Daddy were always there to help her get through the bad times.

One day she got very sick, and her parents took her to this big building. It was strange but as long as Mommy & Daddy were there, that was the main thing. She always felt safe with them. At times she would get very sleepy. She didn't know why, but she got very sleepy. She could tell Mommy and Daddy was crying at times but didn't know why. She knew she was in their arms. Every once in a while she had trouble breathing. Then miraculously, she felt a little breeze and she could breathe better. She also noticed that every time she had trouble breathing, Mommy and Daddy would get very upset.

Eventually the breathing got better, and then she would be sleepy again. She could always hear her Mommy and Daddy crying in the background. She couldn't figure out why. She was just sleepy and she kept remembering the adventure she was going on. Mommy and Daddy were not alone. There was Mommy’s sister. This time her aunt was not wearing the big hat. There was also Daddy’s brother. He seems quiet and only talked to Daddy in hushed tones. Both her aunt and uncle had brought someone else with them too. The four people were guarding her but she didn’t know from what or from whom.

But now other people were coming into the room. These people were different. Now she suddenly noticed that the room was getting crowded. These other people that were coming to see her were brilliantly white. Almost like the sunlight she felt on her face on that summer's day when she was outside. These people kept talking to her. They told her of the great adventure and how much they loved her. They started telling her their names, but she couldn't remember them all. She didn't recognize them. She noticed that somehow they were always seemed to be able to talk to her even when her eyes were closed. The funniest thing was that she was able to talk to them, also. She didn't understand that, but she knew she was finally going on her big adventure.

Then all of a sudden two light beings came towards her. These people were a little brighter than the rest. These two people gave her their names, she recognized them. One said she was the grandmother and the other said he was the great-grandfather. He looked old and wise. He was much older than her Mommy and Daddy, and even her uncles. He didn't say much just says, "I'm your grandfather." He was very quiet but when he looked at her, she could tell he was so gentle. She thought, "This must be a Grandfather."

They sat a little while and they talked and her grandmother told her more of the adventure she was going on. Her grandmother also told her of all the love she had. Then her Mommy and Daddy started squeezing her so tight. She could hardly breathe. She was so sleepy. Her parents were crying and she could still hear her grandmother and all these other brilliant people talking with her, and giving her their love. They even showed her pictures of what she was going to be doing. On her adventure she would be able to walk, to talk, and even sing. Not only would she be walking, she would be able to fly. She would see the birds. Since she had never seen birds, the ideas of flying with birds were so wonderful.

Then all of a sudden, Grandmother looked down and said, "Time to go." Her grandmother picked her up and a miracle happened. All of a sudden she started growing. From the moment her grandmother touched her blanket and began to cradle her, she got bigger. Her legs got stronger. The little hat that Mom had on her head even got bigger so she could wear it. All of her clothes changed from the little blanket that she had around her, the T-shirt she wore, or what ever else she was wearing to something brilliantly white. Her clothes were becoming just like those of the beings who had been telling her of the big adventure.

Then, suddenly her grandmother put her down. The grandmother held her with one hand and her grandfather held her other hand. Their hands were so soft and tender and she was so excited. She was finally going on the big adventure. She was going to be able to walk and talk and sing! Then she remembered Mommy and Daddy. She turned around and looked at them. Mommy and Daddy were crying so hard and she did not understand why. So she said to Mom, "Mom, why are you crying? I'm with Grandma." And with that she turned around and went with Grandma, Grandpa and all the loving beings that had been there came too.